Voting Vernacular

Delegate- What are delegates you ask? A delegate is an individual chosen to represent their state at their party conventions prior to a presidential election.  But how does one become a delegate?  A question asked by many and known by few; some say the elders gather high in the cliffs of Narroon to shave the ceremonial goat in the dead of a cold winter’s night searching for the foretelling birthmark.  Others say that a delegate is chosen at a caucus to represent their community’s support for a given candidate.  Surprisingly, after thorough research, we have found the latter explanation to be more accurate.  Delegates for the Democratic and Republican parties differ, however have similar objectives in the sense that each party has to have a specific number of pledged delegates to win their parties presidential nomination.

Superdelegate- When a normal delegate is exposed to radiation or orphaned as a young boy leaving him thirsty for revenge they become a SUPERDELEGATE. After going through intense SUPER training they join up with the justice squad PLEO (which are the party leaders and elected officials.)  The all-star cast of political powerhouses waits, training night and day in the Caverns of Truth until duty calls upon them. If the presidential primary is too close to be decided by the delegates the SUPERDELEGATES strike into action, scissor kicking indecisiveness to the jugular.  In other words, superdelagates and elected delegates from each state join at their parties’ National Convention to finalize the election of the presidential nominee for their party.

Caucus-You know like in the movies when some dude randomly erupts into a heart melting speech surrounded by strangers, desperately pouring his soul into a sea of blank faces to save his little brother from the alligators or stop the conglomerates from conglomerating.  Then that one guy, who no one remembers from the opening scene, stands up and says, “I’ll help ya Billy.”  Then like magic everyone else is like, “oh wait I’m not a heartless bastard,” or “yeah I do hate alligators conglomerating.”  All of those people in the second group also attend caucuses.  Caucuses, in the sense of a presidential election, are the subgroup of which ever particular party who coordinate group action, choose policies, and nominate various candidates for office.  There are thousands of caucuses held around the nation during election time to establish these platforms…and fight the alligators and conglomerates.

Primary- It’s one of the preliminary steps of the presidential election, run by the state.  What is the difference between a primary and a caucus you ask?  The caucus is run by the political parties and are private events with their own rules set by the party.  All in all, the victors of these cage matches emerge to square off against each other to become elected President of the Unites States, much like in Karate Kid.